Ten Things to Never Post on Facebook if You Are Single

If you’re single and not completely loving that fact, there are a few Facebook guidelines to follow to if you want to remain dateable in the eyes of other singles in your social network.

Ten things to never post on Facebook if you are single:

1. What you’re looking for in a date. eHarmony should host your dating profile, not your Facebook page.

2. A play-by-play of the dates you do go on. If you chronicle the details of your personal life, no one will want to become part of it. Journal privately.

3. Melancholic posts about singleness or exes. Debbie Downer is only entertaining on SNL, not in real life.

4. Angry posts about singleness. Whether you’re bitter about being alone or sick of all your married friends not having time for you anymore, publicly expressing feelings of hostility will only further alienate you from the people you (really do) love.

5. “Sexy” pics. Semi-undressed shots, pouty faces and Photoshopped-to-death profile photos are too often the sources of major eye-rolling from online friends. Keep it classy. And never call yourself hot. Ever. (Unless you’re literally sweaty — in a nonsexual context.)

6. Wedding dress photos you pinned on Pinterest. It doesn’t matter if you’re just admiring the designer gowns, any signs of wedding obsession are instant turn-offs.

7. Photos of your ex. Refuse to publicly indulge in bitterness or nostalgia.

8. Lyrics or videos of sappy love songs — or sad love-gone-wrong songs. Let Facebook be a place where you update friends and family on the good things actively going on in your life, not a place where you cryptically reveal what you wish was going on in your life.

9. Information about a new crush. When you’re smitten with someone new, post on Facebook using this filter: “Will this comment scare him/her away?”

10. Any evidence that you’re stalking an ex or a date. Just because you discovered that your ex is seeing someone new doesn’t mean that you have to passive-aggressively mention this on your wall.

What have you seen on your friends’ Facebook walls that had you rolling your eyes!?