Here’s how to ensure that what you say doesn’t go in one ear and out the other.
As women, we all know how hard it is to get our men to understand us. We talk to them and then we get the stare — you know, the one that looks like we just spoke a foreign language. Either he does that or he will respond with something completely off base or something that makes you really upset. This is when the argument begins and ruins the whole night or day.
For the sake of improving your relationship and helping your man understand the women’s language, check out these ways to get your man to understand:
1. Don’t Talk While He’s Busy. Don’t talk to him when he’s playing his video game, watching TV, or doing some other extra-curricular activity. You’ll be wasting your words because he is not listening.
For the sake of improving your relationship and helping your man understand the women’s language, check out these ways to get your man to understand:
1. Don’t Talk While He’s Busy. Don’t talk to him when he’s playing his video game, watching TV, or doing some other extra-curricular activity. You’ll be wasting your words because he is not listening.
2. Don’t Interrupt Him. Don’t demand he stop doing whatever he is doing to listen to you. All he will do is wait for you to be finished so he can get back to what he was doing before. That also means he really isn’t paying any attention to you. He’s probably thinking about which door he has to try to get into the next level of his PS3 game.
3. Don’t Yell At Him. Don’t yell at him to listen to you before you talk to him. He’ll most likely be thinking you’re about to complain about something he should have done or didn’t do and has already tuned you out. Once you are out, you are out for good.
4. Approach Him With A Smile. Make the conversation one that he wants to be part of and one that he is going to like. To do this, smile and take his hands into yours. Sit on the couch and tell him that you miss him and that you want to talk to him for a while.
5. Ask Him If He Understands. As you’re talking, if you start to get the stare, stop and ask, “Are you following me?” If it doesn’t seem like he is, go back and explain it better. Remember, he is male and he and his friends don’t converse like women do.
6. Encourage Him to Ask Questions. When he doesn’t understand something, ask him, “What part doesn’t make sense?” Tell him that you want to make sure he understands what you are talking about because you value his input on the topic. He will appreciate that you care so much about what he thinks.
7. Tell Him What You Want To Hear. Sometimes men don’t understand what you want from them to make you feel better and they have to be told. It’s okay, many men really want you to tell them and yes, you should tell them — they really don’t know. So, if your man says, “Wow! That dress really makes your butt look huge.” Correct him by saying something like, “Is that a good thing? If it is, you might want to say something like, ‘Wow! You really look beautiful in that dress tonight.’”
3. Don’t Yell At Him. Don’t yell at him to listen to you before you talk to him. He’ll most likely be thinking you’re about to complain about something he should have done or didn’t do and has already tuned you out. Once you are out, you are out for good.
4. Approach Him With A Smile. Make the conversation one that he wants to be part of and one that he is going to like. To do this, smile and take his hands into yours. Sit on the couch and tell him that you miss him and that you want to talk to him for a while.
5. Ask Him If He Understands. As you’re talking, if you start to get the stare, stop and ask, “Are you following me?” If it doesn’t seem like he is, go back and explain it better. Remember, he is male and he and his friends don’t converse like women do.
6. Encourage Him to Ask Questions. When he doesn’t understand something, ask him, “What part doesn’t make sense?” Tell him that you want to make sure he understands what you are talking about because you value his input on the topic. He will appreciate that you care so much about what he thinks.
7. Tell Him What You Want To Hear. Sometimes men don’t understand what you want from them to make you feel better and they have to be told. It’s okay, many men really want you to tell them and yes, you should tell them — they really don’t know. So, if your man says, “Wow! That dress really makes your butt look huge.” Correct him by saying something like, “Is that a good thing? If it is, you might want to say something like, ‘Wow! You really look beautiful in that dress tonight.’”
8. Tell Him What You Want From The Relationship. Just like telling him what you want to hear, tell your man what you want from the relationship. Do you want poems? Tell him that you want poems. Okay, so it’s not as romantic as if he did it himself. But if you think about it, he has to choose one that makes him think of you and that is romantic.
9. Don't Talk to Him When He's Upset. If he's upset about something, don't try to start a conversation with him. He's already on another planet and isn't going to be able to take in, never mind understand anything you are saying. Wait until he has cooled down before you discuss anything with him.
10. Praise Him. As you are trying to get him to understand you more, praise him. The more you praise him, the more he will want to understand you. You'll start to see how his eyes light up when you bring up the idea of talking about something or *gasp* his willingness to pause a video game for an instant for you to say something.
Remember: commitment and patience will help your man understand. These tricks don't work overnight and you can't just do them one time and expect your man to understand you forever. You'll have to follow these all the time. It'll be worth it, though, just to have him understand and take interest in what you have to say.
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