Thinking about having sex for the first time can be a little scary. You may have a lot of questions. There may even be things that you haven’t even thought about yet. Don’t worry though – this is something that we all go through.
Though the first-time experience isn’t the same for everybody, we asked women responded what they wish they knew before they had sex. Hopefully this will help you get some answers and remind you that you’re definitely not alone out there. Here are 10 things that women wish they knew before having sex:
It Hurts A Different Amount For Everyone
There's no exact answer as to how much your first time having sex will hurt until it actually happens. That can be a little scary, but it's normal. It's going to be different for everyone. Don't let a thought of how much it "should" hurt keep you from communicating to your partner how you are feeling.
You're Not Alone
Thinking about when to have sex can be stressful, but you can talk to your partner about it. For example, it's not just a girl's job to worry about birth control. You have every right to express what you're feeling. For all you know, they might be thinking the same things. Guys out there get nervous about this kind of thing, too. You definitely aren't alone in how you're feeling just because you're a girl.
There's No Specific Timeline To Follow
The right time is going to be different for everyone. There's no specific timeline that is right for every person. It doesn't need to happen after a certain number of dates. It shouldn't matter when your friends did it. If you're in a relationship, you don't have to do it after a certain amount of time. It's whenever you feel comfortable.
You Won't Always Have The Same Experience As Your Friends
Just as the right time for you may not be the right time as your friend, their first time is going to be different from your first time. If they had a first-time horror story, that doesn't mean you'll have an awful experience, too. On the flip side, they also might build up their experience, so you shouldn't feel disappointed if yours isn't the same either. It's okay to have a different experience than your friends.
You Don't Have To Talk About It
Even if a friend told you her story or you told her you were thinking about having sex, once you have sex, you don't have to talk about it with anyone. It's your personal business and you don't owe anyone the details.
It Doesn't Always Mean He's Exclusive With You
While for you something like sex might be a big symbol of commitment, there is always the chance that your partner has a different interpretation. Just because he's having sex with you, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's exclusively sleeping with you, so it may be something you want to bring up ahead of time. It's also yet another reason why even if it's your first time, wearing a condom is super important.
You Can Wait To Do It Again
Every time you have sex, you should want to do it. If you want to take a break for a while after your first time, that is one hundred percent okay. Just because you've done it once, doesn't mean you are ever obligated to do it again until you feel comfortable.
It Can Take Practice To Get Comfortable
There's a good chance your first time won't be super graceful. Sex is one of those things that will only get better with practice. That doesn't mean you have to immediately do it again if you don't want to (see previous slide). Rather, it's just good to remember that the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll probably feel, so things can really only improve from your first time.
Nothing Could Change
Having sex doesn't define you as a person. It's a personal choice, and many things in your life are going to continue to go on just as normally as they did before. You still have practice, you still have school, you still go to work. It doesn't mean that it isn't a big choice in your life, but whether you have had sex or not, you are still the same "you" and it's normal for things to just keep going on around you as they did before.
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