At this time of year, my boyfriend is super into college basketball. He gets all his friends and family to fill out March Madness brackets and he is constantly watching the games. He’s totally in the basketball zone. There’s one catch: I am not into basketball. At all.
But here’s the thing, girls – it’s really okay to hate your boyfriend’s favorite things. It is possible to stay in a functioning relationship even when you don’t share all the same loves.
I get that the idea of not agreeing on things can be kind of scary. You obviously care about this person and when you’re both not on the same page about something – even if it’s just a hobby or interest – it can make you a little nervous. It’s important to remember that often our differences are what make relationships exciting.
So how exactly do you hate his things the “right” way? Well, I’ve learned that from the start, you should at least give your boyfriend’s interests a chance. Maybe you think you hate something, but could come to love it. I am not super into music, but my boyfriend is, and he got me hooked on a number of cool bands.
Sometimes though, you give things a chance and you still don’t like it. The first year we were dating, I did the whole March Madness bracket because I knew it was important to him. It showed that I recognized he loved it. I wasn’t just going to dismiss it because it wasn’t my thing.
After that year though, I knew I wasn’t going to suddenly develop a love of basketball. That’s when you need to talk about it. Secretly hating your boyfriend’s interests will not end well, whether you put on this pretend “Oh I love it!” act or you are actively finding ways to avoid it.
Just be open. Relationships are built on communication and honesty. I said that I respected his March Madness love, but it’s not really my thing. Now, when I don’t get in on his bracket pool, he knows why. In return, he respected my disinterest and he doesn’t get offended when I don’t really want to go watch basketball. We just don’t dwell on it. If I were to go off on how he’s wasting his time watching so much basketball, I can’t excuse that rudeness is “Oh, well he knows I don’t like it…” Nope, still have to be respectful.
It’s also important to be realistic. You don’t have to love everything he likes, but you shouldn’t expect him to be super excited about everything you love in return. I appreciate that he’s tried out some of my interests, but I’ve learned that some of those are things are for “me” time rather than our time together. We share many interests, but at the end of the day, we’re two different people and that’s cool. It’s okay to naturally change in a relationship as you discover new things about yourself, but you shouldn’t force changes for another person.
Definitely try to swap interests here and there and at least be willing to give thing important to him a try, but it certainly doesn’t need to be an “all-or-nothing” situation. You should feel comfortable being yourself with who your dating, and that means expressing your likes and your dislikes. As long as you are respectful toward his interests, there’s nothing that says you have to love them all.
Does your significant other have an interest that you don’t care about? Have you ever pretended that you were interested in something you hated just because your partner was?
Read more: http://www.gurl.com/2013/03/22/change-for-him-different-interests/#ixzz2OcMqCwaY
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