"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others, and if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." ~Dalai Lama
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
What A Man Needs To Feel With You
In order for a man to feel like he wants to get to know you better and eventually have a committed relationship with you, you need to build something first…
You need to build a solid foundation of POSITIVE EXPERIENCE that makes him practically unable to imagine life without you. When you do this, you’ll finally be able to have a loving, lasting, committed relationship with a man…without having to worry about him pulling away or resisting your love.
Right from the early stages of dating, there are ways to tip the balance so that your general experience together is positive. Here’s how.
HAVING CONTROL OVER YOUR EMOTIONS
Your emotions and how you communicate them have tremendous power. They have the power to instantly reconnect you and a man, and they have the power to push him away in no time flat.
If you want to have a conscious relationship and you want to enjoy the incredible feeling that comes from being able to stay close and connected with the man in your life – even during the tough times or bumps in the road – then you must learn how to “own” your emotions in situations with men, and communicate them in a way that uses their power to benefit you and your relationship…not break it apart.
When you don’t take the time to process emotions and put them into perspective, then the feelings you share have a very different effect on your man than you’d like. I’m talking about what happens when you lose your center and let your fears and emotions take over about something that simply isn’t going to be a big deal to you two hours later. So, take some time to let your emotions settle BEFORE you express them to a man. If the issue is still bothering you, you’ll get far better results by expressing it in a calm manner…and he’ll perceive your overall experience as a positive one.
IMAGINING THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME
Most of us (men and women) use our minds to imagine the worst possible outcomes for dating andrelationship situations.
Think about those situations when a man doesn’t call you back when you think he should. If you immediately start to wonder where he is, what he’s doing, and who he’s with, you
create negative emotions. You make up pictures in your mind of him out with other women, doing fun things without you, etc., and it’s really upsetting. This inevitably creates negative tension and distance between the two of you.
Instead, start doing yourself a favor:
1) Visualize your ideal outcome
2) Make positive meaning out of the experience for yourself
If he doesn’t call you back right away, imagine that he is freaked out with his own life and schedule (maybe his boss just threatened to let him go), and make it mean that when he finally does talk to you, he’s going to be even more interested because it took you so long to catch up with each other.
If he tells you he’s not ready for a relationship right now because of his past, you can freak out and put more distance between the two of you. Or you can choose to look at it this way: that he really likes you and has had to think about being in a relationship because his feelings are so strong. When you spin things positively, something incredible happens: you will feel a levity that is far from the pain you’d normally feel in a situation like this, and in turn this makes you much more attractive – if not to him, than to a man who will really be able to commit to you.
When you continuously strive to adopt a positive mindset and create fun, positive experiences in a relationship, then the man will start to see you as a positive aspect of his life…and pretty soon he’ll see you as a necessary part of his life, too. Here’s the thing: a man doesn’t usually walk around thinking, “Gee, I really want to be in a committed relationship with one woman for the rest of my life.” What happens is this: he meets the woman who makes him feel so good; he can’t imagine his life without her.
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