9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

Divorce is painful, but it can be rewarding as well.

Going through a divorce is one of the most painful things for anyone to experience. I can relate from my own personal divorce drama. The day my ex threatened to call the cops because my parents took my son to church made me wonder, how could it ever get this bad?

There were days I felt like I should make a guest appearance on the Jerry Springer show. Getting divorced and going through separation, with children, a once-shared home and pets, is painful and confusing. But it can also be a great teacher. 

1. Don't play the blame game. He said-she said will get you nowhere fast. It's easy to say "It's all your fault we're getting a divorce because you cheated on me." But when you place blame on your ex, it takes away your power and you become the victim.

2. Don't blame everything on yourself. It's easy to place the blame on yourself, especially if you're a people-pleaser. When you still care for your ex, it's so easy to make excuses for him and his behavior. It's not all your fault; there has probably been lack of communication between the two of you.

3. A therapist or life coach is worth it. My ex thought I must be crazy for leaving him, so I needed a therapist. I made my first appointment for counseling to prove that I wasn't crazy. Now, I realize I was crazy for not going to talk to a professional sooner.

After my first session, I realized she really knew what she was talking about, and I am forever grateful for her guidance. Talking to someone in the know will help you be in the know. A good counseler will hand you tissues, listen and respond with words of wisdom that you never thought of. You will start to see things in a different light. Still feeling confused and attached?

4. If things get nasty, don't be friends. Instead, be friendly. If your divorce isn't going smoothly, you don't have to be best buds. Your ex doesn't need to hear the intimate details of your work schedule or that you signed up on match.com. You can be business-like, but friendly. Especially if you have children involved, keep things short and sweet.

(www.yourtango.com)