It's missionary-style 24-7 in my house, and I couldn't be happier. My husband will often ask good-naturedly, "Are you ever going to get on top?" I’ll laugh, and say, "No. Now climb on, cowboy!" Like those architecturally sound, round, plain red Lifesavers, there's nothing I love more than to lie on my back, legs in the air, with the smooth skin of my husband's back under my hands, pondering the crack shaped like a rabbit on our ceiling. Some may say that makes me boring, but I've learned being boring is OK if it makes you happy. So, while the women's magazine articles come up with new and improved ways to twist and contort your limbs like Gumby, this is one woman's appeal for missionary.
1. You Have No Risk Of Injury: I'll never forget my freshman year of college when my roommate was having sex in the shower with her boyfriend, slipped on a bar of soap, and ended up with 12 stitches above her left eyebrow. No one ends up in the emergency room doing missionary-style.
2. You Save Money: Lying on your back doesn't require any additional hardware. In our fledgling economy, you save money not buying whips, handcuffs, or scarves.
3. You Don't Have To Worry About Ending Up On The Web: If Paris Hilton's sex tape was just her lounging on a hotel bed, her skinny bod half-covered up with Rick Salomon, it never would have sold so many copies. It would have been too boring for mass distribution.
4. Junk In The Trunk? No Problem: Unlike doggy-style, when gravity is working against you, missionary-style distributes all your weight evenly, leaving no extra flab swinging in the breeze.
5. You Can Catch The End Of "The Office": Without all that effort the other flashier positions require, including shifting, scurrying, and heavy lifting, you can have great sex and still have time left over in your night to watch your favorite television show. Everyone wins!
Written by Kate Rockland for The Frisky
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