The biggest obstacle standing between most guys and their dream relationship is that they never even try approaching great women…all because they’re scared of being “rejected.”
Of course, it’s easy for guys to convince themselves that they’re trying. They sit home and work on their profiles. They go to the gym and maybe they even ask a woman out once in awhile. But, in the end, MOST guys spend MOST of their time on the “sidelines.”
They never truly get in the game, also known as “putting themselves out there,” with the energy and commitment necessary to succeed with a truly great woman. Why? Because they’re afraid they’ll ultimately be rejected. With that in mind, here’s how to eliminate the paralyzing fear and anxiety that’s standing between you and the woman of your dreams:
Understand The “Worst-Case” Scenario
I recommend every man ask himself this: “Why do I fear rejection and what could happen that’s so devastating it’s not even worth trying?”
I recommend every man ask himself this: “Why do I fear rejection and what could happen that’s so devastating it’s not even worth trying?”
First and foremost, you need to realize and understand the worst-case scenario when you approach a woman. Sure, on a bad day (for any number of reasons) a woman may act coldly towards you, or totally ignore you when you approach her. But in my experience helping literally thousands of men overcome their debilitating fears of rejection, here’s what happens 99% of the time: A woman politely explains that she’s already with someone, then thanks you for asking. Of course, this may not be true at all (again, for any number of reasons) but here’s the point: You didn’t get hurt or damaged in any way.
In reality, most women don’t want to hurt you. In reality, most women will actually be flattered that you made the attempt. But don’t take my word for it…get a handle on this by going out there and proving it to yourself. I suggest picking a day and jumping in, connecting with a few great women online first, or just going straight out to a coffee shop, the mall, wherever.
That’s right…start approaching women that you find attractive, in person, as many times as you can. Beside the fact that nothing improves performance like practice, all of this real-world “evidence” about what really happens will become a brand new reality to you. You’ll finally know for a fact that “rejection” won’t kill you. It won’t even leave a bruise.
ADDED BONUS: You may even find a soul mate.
Visualize SUCCESS (And Its Rewards)
Once a man escapes the destructive habit of imagining “devastating” rejection, he needs to “see” the reason for approaching great women in the first place. Now, I’ve never encountered a man who believed that a life spent alone or even “settling” for a woman who isn’t a great match was preferable to the momentary disappointment of a woman telling him she’s with someone else.
Once a man escapes the destructive habit of imagining “devastating” rejection, he needs to “see” the reason for approaching great women in the first place. Now, I’ve never encountered a man who believed that a life spent alone or even “settling” for a woman who isn’t a great match was preferable to the momentary disappointment of a woman telling him she’s with someone else.
On the other hand, once a man understands how to stop fearing and start creating feelings of attraction in a great woman (by acting confident, in control and mixing in the right amount of humor) the reward is life changing. So take time to visualize this. Imagine it.
How would your current life be different…starting tomorrow…if the kind of great woman you’ve always dreamed about says, “Yes” when you ask her out? If you’re brutally honest with yourself, the answer should be powerful motivation for leaving behind your fear or rejection for good.
Work On Your “Inner Game”
Notice what I said above: A man must understand how to create feelings of ATTRACTION in a woman before he can succeed with her. As I say so often — creating attraction has nothing to with looks or money, but becoming confident with women so you can start connecting with them emotionally. The tragic fact is that even men who’ve done all of the above to eliminate their fear of rejection often feel like there’s still something missing inside them. Many times, they carry around deep, inner fears and insecurities that make it hard (if not impossible) to attract and keep a great woman.
Notice what I said above: A man must understand how to create feelings of ATTRACTION in a woman before he can succeed with her. As I say so often — creating attraction has nothing to with looks or money, but becoming confident with women so you can start connecting with them emotionally. The tragic fact is that even men who’ve done all of the above to eliminate their fear of rejection often feel like there’s still something missing inside them. Many times, they carry around deep, inner fears and insecurities that make it hard (if not impossible) to attract and keep a great woman.
Sound familiar?
If so, it comes down to consulting experts who are experienced in eliminating these “inner game” issues, talking with friends who are successful with women, even seeking therapy to address these deeply-rooted insecurities and fears…most of which are usually based on experiences early in a man’s life.
To eliminate your fear of rejection for good, you must replace that false evidence with the facts about what really happens when a confident, in-control man approaches a great woman…and then do everything you can to become that kind of man.
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