The 69er got its name because the numbers are head-to-toe -- as you are when
you're doing it! Put simply, it's a sexual position that allows each of you to
give and receive oral sex simultaneously. The usual position is you on top of
him, with your bottom pointed toward his face, genitals lowered so he can lick
them. Meanwhile, your mouth is positioned above his penis.
The Ups
Because you're giving and receiving pleasure at the same time, some claim a
69er is the ultimate erotic sensation. Others find them to be ultimately
frustrating: It's all too easy to get lazy on your end! If your partner's
working his magic and you're about to climax, it's common to forget about his
pleasure and try to get away with a few lackluster licks. That's why many people
try 69ers in their youth and then decide they're too much work. Big mistake,
ladies: They're a great way to add naughtiness and variety to a stale sex life,
and with a few simple adjustments, they're easy to master. Here, the ups and
downs of head-to-toe sex -- and how to make yours better!
Get On Top
Sticking your genitals so blatantly in your partner's face is, well, quite
rude, really... which is why it feels so liberating when we do it! Women are
quite often bashful about showing their bits, so lowering yourself on top of him
and realizing he's copping an eyeful can be a huge turn-on for both of you.
Because a 69er exposes the entire pelvic region, giving him access to the
whole of the vulva, the perineum (the hairless bit between the anus and the
vaginal opening) and your anus, he's able to stimulate much more than just your
clitoris.
The Downs
How do I put this delicately? If ever there was a time you wished you hadn't
rushed out the door without showering, this is it. It can be slightly alarming
to remember this just as you're lowering yourself right next to his nose.
Keep Your Man Calm
Some men consider a 69er so erotic, they ejaculate too quickly -- a literal
two licks in. This is why it's advisable for him to start working on you long
before you start on him.
Pay Attention
Giving and receiving pleasure simultaneously is fabulous, but it has a
massive downside: You need to pay attention — and that means you can't lose
yourself in the moment. This, sadly for us, is more of a problem for women than
for men. Orgasm for men is easy: Simply having a mouth hovering near his penis
can sometimes be enough to send him over the edge. Women, complicated creatures
that we are, usually require a specific, constant,
don't-alter-anything-just-keep-doing-it-or-I'll-kill-you type of stimulation to
climax. And if he's in the throes of orgasm or approaching it, he's unlikely to
be paying careful attention to the critical timing you require.
If he does manage to keep going and you're the one transported into orgasmic
bliss, it's rather easy to get a little carried away and forget your mouth is
wrapped around some very vulnerable flesh. Some women involuntarily clench their
jaw during orgasm. (Never seen a grown man cry? Here's your chance.)
If you assume the traditional position (meaning you're on top of him), you're
actually the wrong way around for his tongue to work on the most sensitive part
of the clitoral area. So, depending on how long, wide and dexterous his tongue
is, this can mean his stimulation won't feel as good for you as regular oral
sex.
Use Your Hands
It's too awkward and tiring to attempt to use only your mouth to stimulate
him, so use your hands as well. And don't be scared to remove your mouth and
work on him with your hands to give yourself a break. Ditto for him.
Take Turns
One way to solve the problem of forgetting to work on your partner because
you're enjoying yourself too much is to assume the position but lie back and
relax while he gives you an orgasm, and then reciprocate when you're done.
Use a Pillow
Putting a pillow under his head will keep him from getting a stiff neck from
having to lift his head to make contact. Or try lying head-to-toe on your sides,
each with the under thigh drawn up as a cushion for the partner's head. If you
like being opened up wide, get him to slip his arm in the crook of your upper
knee.
Make Him Work First
If it nearly always takes you longer to orgasm than it does him, get him to
start working on you first while you lie back and relax. Start using your hands
on him as you feel yourself becoming more aroused and only fellate him when you
know you're approaching orgasm.
Try the "cascade" position -- a 69er standing up -- which gives you the
unique sensation of having an orgasm with your head downward. To get you there,
he lays you face up across the bed, with your head over the edge, and then
stands astride your face, bends over and picks you up, putting your legs around
his neck.
He stands while you sit facing him on the side of the bed (or on any piece of
furniture that's the right height). It's more comfortable for both of you, and
it lets you stimulate his penis, nipples, testicles, perineum, etc., without
your hands getting cramped. It also gives you control over how deeply he thrusts
into your mouth. Some men say their legs go wobbly on orgasm, but most can
survive if they collapse on the bed immediately afterward!
He stands while you kneel in front of him. It's more comfortable for you than
lying down beside him, and it's hugely appealing for him because you're in the
classic "submissive" pose.
For You
Instead of you lying back and him lying between your legs, he lies back on
the bed and gets you to climb on top of him, facing the headboard. You put your
hands against the wall behind the bed to steady yourself and then lower yourself
onto his mouth and tongue. This gives you complete control over the pressure:
You can lift away from his mouth if it's too rough and move closer if you want
it harder. His neck's not cramped, and it stops his tongue from getting as
tired.
You Lie, He Kneels
You lie back on the bed while he kneels between your legs and lifts them up
so they're resting on his shoulders. He's in a kneeling position; you're lifted
in the air, but your shoulders are still on the bed. You use your hands to
support yourself, and he supports you by holding your legs. This feels
fantastic, and he gets the added turn-on of seeing exactly what's going on.
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