Why ‘Nice Guys’ Deserve to Finish Last

You’ve likely seen the short-lived but rather revelatory tumblr, ‘Nice Guys’ of OKCupid. If you happened to miss it, here’s the archive and here’s the premise: someone thought it would be funny to post pics of unattractive, socially awkward guys’ on OKCupid, along with clippings from their profiles talking about how they are “nice guys”… followed by clippings exposing them as sexist or otherwise hateful people. While I wonder what would happen if the same were done with women, the whole charade really got me thinking about the concept of “nice guys.”

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The “nice guy” is often anything but. He’s got an agenda (usually a pretty selfish one), and he disguises it under the cloak of “nice guy”-ness.

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Let’s paint a little picture of the ‘Nice Guy’: The Nice Guy is a girl’s best friend. He’s always there when she has problems. In fact, he often volunteers his services even when they aren’t wanted. He fancies himself a lady’s closest confidant, yet rages at being in the “friend zone.” This type of guy may seem sympathetic in longing for a relationship with his best friend. But often this same guy only talks to women in hopes of getting laid. So how “nice” of a guy is he?

That’s why, as the tumblr revealed, talking about what a nice guy you are is generally a pretty clear sign that you aren’t. It’s akin to guys who are always going on about how “honest” they are; that either means they’re proud of acting like assholes all the time, or they’re pathological liars. Similarly, the “nice guy” is often anything but. He’s got an agenda (usually a pretty selfish one), and he disguises it under the cloak of “nice guy”-ness.

At The Art of Charm, we’re not opposed to agendas, even ones that might be a little “selfish.” But we do urge men to be aboveboard about their intentions at all times. But the crux of the matter is, no one ever got laid by being a “nice guy.” The Nice Guys of OKCupid fail at creating rapport and sexual tension. They then reach the passive-aggressive conclusion that women don’t like them because they are “too nice.” These are the guys who honestly believe that women want to date assholes.

Every man with a lick of social awareness knows on some level that this isn’t true. Or at least they know that the type of women they want to date won’t be into dating assholes.

Just another OKCupid ‘Nice Guy.’ See what we mean?

So what do women really want? As there are nearly 3.5 billion women on the planet and I’ve only met a fraction of them, it’s hard to say. But people in general tend to be attracted to clarity, purpose and high social value. You can bet that the most socially successful people in the world didn’t get there by mistreating others. Nor did they get there through false, passive-aggressive “niceness,” which ultimately is nothing more than a self-serving power play.

You want to be nice. You also want to be independent and above all, genuine. The ‘Nice Guys’ of OKCupid aren’t just duplicitous and passive-aggressive. They also need validation from external sources, usually women—and these women can smell the desperation on them.

The first thing you need to learn is that if you aren’t satisfied with the current version of yourself, you have to get good at projecting confidence while you’re busting your ass to get there for real. Begging attention off of people, especially by trying to make them feel bad when they don’t give it, is just about the worst social strategy going. And why, as the title of this article asserts, nice guys—on OKCupid or elsewhere—actually deserve to finish last. Not to mention alone.

Read more: http://www.mademan.com/why-nice-guys-deserve-to-finish-last/#ixzz2PBA6qKBj

Fail! The 7 Worst Ways to Propose

Thinking of getting hitched this year? Not so fast. Unless you’re planning a civil ceremony to yourself, you probably have to pop a certain question to a certain someone first.  There are plenty of ways to do so—and the guy above has it right—but lots of those ways are, well, bad. Before you get down on one knee, read through these major proposal don’ts to avoid awkward encounters, embarrassment or, at worst, a no.

1. Surrounded by complete strangers

Note: if you’re a future NFL millionaire, do whatever you want.

A proposal should be between the two people involved. It shouldn’t involve strangers, even as spectators. Something about a high-wattage proposal (say, on the kiss cam at a Bulls game or with the help of a flash mob in Grand Central Station) tells me it’s more about the show you’re putting on than the question you’re popping. Do you feel strongly about spending the rest of your life with your girlfriend, or do you just want to star in YouTube hit? When it comes down to it, you should be able to speak from the heart without a bunch of hoopla speaking for you.

2. In the workplace

The workplace rule applies even if your workplace is reality TV. Case in point.

I’ve seen proposals done in conference rooms via PowerPoint. I’ve seen a proposal done via an online ad. Work is work. Life is life. Sure, sometimes they mix, but it’s still completely crazy to, for example, make your proposal an advertising pitch because you work in advertising. Add in your coworkers as an audience, and you’ve really crossed the line. That’s not romantic—it’s a to-do list item you completed between conference calls. Your (potential) marriage is part of your personal life, not your professional life—your proposal should be as well.

3. In front of friends and family

We don’t even know where to start here.

I get it. You want to share the happiness of your engagement with those closest to you and your new fiancée. But you can do that after the whole down-on-one-knee part. I can’t stress it enough: a proposal is an intimate, private experience, not one in which you can hear your dad and sister whispering their excitement in the background.

4. Without some second opinions

A friend—or probably half the people in the food court—could have helped avert this disaster.

Someone should be aware that this proposal is coming. It’s a good idea to chat with one of your lady’s close friends or family members ahead of time, for a few reasons. First, if you’re completely off base with this big step, it’s likely a close friend or family member would know. Second, most fathers appreciate a heads up, and she’ll be touched when she finds out you asked for her hand. And third, unless you’re a jewelry expert, you probably need some help picking out the hardware. You don’t want to choose an awful ring that doesn’t suit the love of your life, right?

5. As a complete surprise

She never saw it coming—and that’s not exactly a good thing.

This is the real world. An out-of-nowhere, shockingly unexpected proposal is, well, Disney. If you haven’t yet had “the talk”—an honest conversation about what you both want out of the relationship—you really have no business proposing.

6. In or around food

This move is a recipe for misfortune. See what we did there?

Diamond rings hidden in bread rolls or chocolate cake were popular, oh, ten years ago. Now, it’s just cheesy (no pun intended). You’re better than that, right? Leave the food for eating and think of a classier way to present the jewelry (say, with your hand?).

7. Remotely

Tommy pulled out all the stops for his new movie, Skyfail.

Whatever method you choose, you’d better be there—in person—when it happens. That means no “pop in this DVD” video messages, no sky writing while she’s at the beach with friends, no FaceTime, and absolutely no sending the message (or, dear God, the ring) through a friend, family member or pet. If you can’t see each other when you’re popping the question, and if you can’t embrace when she says yes (fingers crossed!), then you’re going about this the wrong way. I don’t care if you’ve already hired a carrier pigeon—you’ve gotta trust me on this one.

Read more: http://www.mademan.com/the-7-worst-ways-to-propose/#ixzz2PB9JImcZ

7 Times You Should Lie to a Woman

Alright, I’m starting with a disclaimer: in any relationship, old or new, honesty is usually the best policy. You know, when in doubt, tell the truth. But there’s always an exception to the rule, right? Right. Sometimes, your honesty just does more harm than good. And sometimes, a little fibbing will save you and your better half a hell of a lot of pain, strife and nagging. What follows are seven questions you should answer, um, diplomatically. Just remember to stick to “little white lies.” Go bigger than that, and you’ll definitely be going home—alone.

1. Do you mind taking care of me when I’m sick in bed?

“Sorry, the stock photo of the girl with the thermometer had the day off.”

Sure, some people like to lock themselves behind closed doors and be alone when they’re under the weather. But others—likely including your girlfriend—want to be pampered. They want the hot soup, cold compress and loving back rub. Admittedly being the caretaker of a wheezing, feverish patient isn’t always fun, but telling your girl that you want nothing to do with her unless she’s in prime form will only cause you grief.

2. Are you uncomfortable when I cry in front of you?

“It’s so sad… when your eyebrows don’t match your hair!”

Scared of feelings? Too bad. Most ladies aren’t, and they like sharing those feelings with others, especially you. Unless your girlfriend is bawling on a daily basis (in which case you may want to consult a professional; I can’t help you there), make it known that when she does go through tough times, you’re there for her. Don’t run in the other direction at the first sight of a tear—that’ll just paint you as an insensitive asshole (excuse my language). You don’t have to be a shrink, or buy three-dozen roses every time she turns on the waterworks; just offer a hug and open ears and she’ll melt on the spot.

3. Do you think I need to wear makeup daily?

This could get messy when she’s bawling her eyes out later.

No girl wants to hear that she’s only pretty with the help of cosmetics. It’s that simple. This question isn’t an opportunity for you to scrutinize your girlfriend’s best and worst facial features (“Well, you have beautiful lips, but could definitely use some concealer on those dark circles…”). It’s an opportunity for you to make her feel naturally beautiful, and more importantly, comfortable and sexy in your presence, no matter what.

4. Did you have a stripper at your bachelor party?

Thank you, HIMYM, for providing this relatively tasteful bachelor party stripper shot.

Whether or not your bachelor party (or your buddy’s bachelor party) takes place in Vegas, it’s best to follow the old ‘what happens there, stays there’ adage. Sure, your fiancée/wife/girlfriend might say she doesn’t care and she’s totally cool with it, but you’re better off erring on the side of omission. If for no other reason than, her libido and sexual confidence will drop through the floor when she pictures you partying with a professionally hot chick. And that hardly does you any good, does it?

5. Do you think my best friend/sister is hot?

Toughest thing about dating Penelope Cruz? Pretending Monica isn’t totally smokin’.

Here’s one situation where the wording is critical. It’s one thing to agree when your girlfriend says her sister or best friend is pretty, or looks pretty tonight. Pret-ty. But hot has completely different connotations—ones that’ll make your gal immediately envision you trying to score with her sibling or pal the moment she leaves the room. So repeat after me: “pretty” not “hot.”

6. Do you like hanging out with my family?

Warning: obligatory Meet the Parents photo.

If your girlfriend is close with her family, plan on being close with them too. That doesn’t mean you have to call her mom to catch up every Tuesday. It does mean you shouldn’t sit in the corner playing Words with Friends during get-togethers, or complain every time you’re invited to a family dinner. And if your girlfriend isn’t close with her kin? Well, you still need to be careful, because it might be one of those ‘Nobody says that about my mama but me’ situations. Bottom line: if you like the girl, her family members are part of the package, so put on a smile and tell her you love ’em, or you just may get dumped.

7. Do you agree I shouldn’t eat that because I’m getting fat?

Warning: gratuitous Kate Upton photo.

No. Just no.

Read more: http://www.mademan.com/7-times-you-should-lie-to-a-woman/#ixzz2PB4az2tg

7 Signs You’re Hooking Up Tonight

Trying to score on a night out can be a big undertaking. You have to acquire your target, respectfully woo her and close the deal—all while overcoming obstacles like annoying friends and ever-present cell phones. But it doesn’t have to be so difficult, really. Heighten your senses, take note of some key signals, and you’ll know well before last call whether it’ll be bedtime for two tonight. Here’s what to watch for…

1. Even-keeled imbibing

This is a bit overboard. Not to mention a bit weird.

Observe your new lady friend’s drinking habits. If she barely sips her wine, she’s probably looking to get out of there quickly—and alone. If she downs five tequila shots plus vodka on the rocks, she’s probably passing out the second she hits a bed. But a modest number of drinks accompanied by a fun, tipsy demeanor? That’s a girl with hooking up potential.

2. Touching moments

All good—assuming she doesn’t have painfully sharp toenails.

You can tell a lot from body language (and I don’t mean Heidi Montag’s crash-and-burn musical effort). Pay attention not only to what that girl is saying, but also what she’s doing. Playing footsie under the table? Lightly stroking your upper arm? Leaning in closer than necessary to tell you that story? Those usually aren’t signs of disinterest, ifyouknowwhatImean.

3. Going solo

Tonight, they just wanna dance! Sigh…

Here’s the scenario: You meet a hot girl at the bar, buy her a drink and start chatting. Everything’s going great until her girlfriends approach in a frenzy to tell her they have to get on the dance floor or they’re so over this scene and going home. Lots of girls will say their goodbyes at this point. But if your companion confidently tells her friends to go on without her, chances are she’s planning to go on with you.

4. Tech neglect

Relax, dude. Why not just text her on your imaginary phone?

It’s the era of smart phones—everyone’s on them, all the time, right? Not really. If someone’s engaged enough by another person, they’ll give the iPhone a rest. So if the girl you’re chatting up is ignoring texts, silencing rings or not even looking at her phone, you’re doing an excellent job of holding her attention. Keep doing what you’re doing, and you just might be holding her later.

5. Big primpin’

If you’ve got four hotties dolling up for you, you can probably stop reading this article.

Guys and gals all want to look their best for those they’re interested in and will go to great lengths to do it. So this one is simple: study your lady’s appearance before and after she heads to the bathroom. If she comes back with a new coat of lipstick and her makeup refreshed, she’s probably trying to impress someone—and hopefully it’s not the bartender.

6. Clear eyes, full heart

His game looks solid. If only we could say the same for his drink.

When I got bored in school, I looked everywhere but at my teacher. When I get bored in meetings, I look everywhere but at my boss. Same goes for flirting. If she looks at you when you are talking to her, good sign. But if she’s scanning the joint during your best stories, she’s probably searching for a different scene or a new prospect. Cut your losses and do the same.

7. The look of lust

Looks like she’s checking you out. Then again, looks like he is, too.

So the girl you’re sweet-talking at the bar isn’t really appreciating what you have to offer? Before you get down, look around. Spot a female onlooker taking notice with a long, lingering stare your way, a once-over and a glare her way? Whoever said don’t switch horses in mid-stream never saw an opportunity like this one, my friend. Take it.

Read more: http://www.mademan.com/7-signs-you-are-hooking-up-tonight/#ixzz2PB2hKJTm

10 Surprising Turn-Ons for Women

Men, put the rulebooks down. And for God’s sake, stop sneaking your sister’s Cosmo for inside intel on women. You can score all the info you need right here, and you won’t even have to explain why you smell like perfume and know all about my cycle. Getting a woman to fawn over you can be tricky, but it’ll be much easier if you note these surprising things that make us swoon. So get on it—chick magnet-tude awaits.

1. Nicely Fitted ClothesThe sexiness of a man who dresses for his body is highly underrated. Now, I’m not saying I need to see what you think is your six-pack through your shirts. Too tight clothes are just as much of a turn-off as too-loose ones. I’m talking tailored shirts that don’t billow at the waist, suits that don’t allude to your 5-year-old self trying on Dad’s clothes, and pants that fall straight around your legs as opposed to being large enough to slip down and reveal the top of your boxers (ugh). Make sense?

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Should you be renting Sex and the City DVDs and staying home Friday night to watch them? No. That’s weird. But when I bring you along to Crazy, Stupid Love, I see the sensitive side of you that sweetly complements the masculine, protective side.

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2. Maintaining Your FriendshipsDon’t get me wrong—if we’re in a relationship, I love when you make time for me, and expect you to do so regularly. But that doesn’t mean I want you to completely lose touch with your friends. Seeing you be a “guy’s guy” (read: the whiskey-sipping, sports-talking guy’s guy, NOT the farting, skeeze-talking guy’s guy) reaffirms my image of you as the “man” I like having around to make me feel safe and loved. Bonus: when you make an effort to connect with friends, old and new, you show you’re loyal—and what girl doesn’t love that?

3. Actually Enjoying Chick FlicksShould you be renting Sex and the City DVDs and staying home Friday night to watch them? No. That’s weird. But when I’m watching SATC, or I bring you along to Crazy, Stupid Love in the theatre and I see you actually enjoying and getting invested it, I see the sensitive side of you that sweetly complements the masculine, protective side. It’s the perfect combo.

4. Drinking WineLet’s clear something up: wine is not feminine. Sure, I get that in college you didn’t want to be the guy sipping on a pinot while your frat brothers were crushing Keystone Lights. But you’re presumably an adult now. And you’re presumably comfortable with yourself and your masculinity. Or at least that’s what I deduce when I see you with wine in hand, or asking our waiter for California red suggestions. You don’t need to be a wine expert, but just the fact that you’re not afraid to drink it shows me that you’re grown up and somewhat sophisticated. Unless you down a whole bottle during a pre-game, in which case, well… that’s still OK with me.

Women like when we drink wine. And in a related story, we like when they pose naked on wine barrels.

5. Making Fun of UsThe scenario: you imitate something I did or said last week, maybe even in your attempted-girl voice. You’re laughing. I say something along the lines of, “Stop teasing me, it’s not nice!” But inside, I’m thrilled. Tickled, even. (Disclaimer: if what you’re making fun of me for is wolfing down three slices of pizza at dinner or falling down the stairs in front of my entire office, the following does not apply.) The fact that you’re imitating or teasing me means a couple things: You remember things I say and do, and you find them cute/entertaining/endearing. And I will never tire of being cute/entertaining/endearing, that’s for sure. So next time I jump up and down trying to reach something on the top shelf, or excitedly ramble about gummy bears, feel free to make fun. I’ll love it.

6. V-Neck SweatersI know so many straight guys who are more terrified of a V-neck sweater than they are of a fire bomb. My advice to those guys? Get over it. Just like a crewneck sweater doesn’t automatically make you manly, a V-neck doesn’t automatically make you the opposite. In fact, a V-neck over a nice, patterned button-up is incredibly stylish, sexy and mature. You should try it sometime.

7. Eating HealthyYou’re a guy—your appetite is probably bigger than mine. That’s totally fine and expected. But no guy is immune to the effects of daily chicken nuggets and fries. Watching you scarf down greasy, fatty meals regularly is, well, gross, and worse, it shows you don’t care about your health or your body, signaling a lack of maturity. I appreciate few things more than a man who takes care of himself. Sure, everyone’s gotta indulge sometimes: Pizza after the bar? Sure. Peanut butter and jelly for lunch? Absolutely. (Oh wait, that’s my favorite.) But the key word here is “sometimes.”

Hmm… looks like a healthy eater to us.

8. Asserting PowerIn no way am I giving you the right to physically or mentally abuse me—there’s nothing that would make me flee faster. What I’m referring to here is being the decision-maker when my indecisiveness gets the best of me, suggesting and planning dates, and standing up to guys who are creepin’ on me (no need for a fist fight—stern words and your arm around my shoulder will do just fine). Not only will I appreciate you filling in when I need you, but I’ll also recognize your strong, solid self, and I’ll like it.

9. JealousyThis one’s pretty simple. If you’re not jealous, you don’t care. At least, that’s how it looks. But if you get a little hot-and-bothered when my best guy friend calls, or steal me away from another guy making conversation at the bar, it’s validating that you have a vested interest in me and aren’t willing to just let me go. Provided you don’t take it that jealousy to psycho levels, it’s just plain cute.

10. Hanging Out with MomJust not more than with me. You may have heard this one before, but it’s so worth repeating: if you have a good relationship with your family, there’s a good chance you’re caring, and that you’ll have a good relationship with me. And if you’re sweet enough to block out a Saturday here and there to hang out with your mom—and treat her well—it shows you respect women and, ideally, respect me. And that, my friends, is guaranteed to score points.

Read more: http://www.mademan.com/10-surprising-turn-ons-for-women/2/#ixzz2PB0a4hkF

Why Am I Still Thinking About My Ex?

One of the hardest stages in the relationship cycle is the moving on phase. A lot of us may have asked the question, “Why am I thinking about my ex?” either to ourselves or to someone we trust. We may have all gone through nights when we couldn’t sleep because thoughts about the ex just wouldn’t stop. That’s just normal. I’ve actually come up with reasons why I thought about my ex even after the break up.

1. No Closure

Although not all break ups go well, there are those who weren’t even officially declared. What happens when there’s no closure is that one of the parties wouldn’t stop thinking about the partner who left him or her. Regardless of gender, the one that gets left behind without knowing the reason why will be tormented mentally.

2. Guilt

Another reason why I kept on thinking about my ex was because of guilt. Although I hadn’t done anything really bad during the relationship, I felt guilty about how my ex took the separation. It’s just a burden somehow to know that someone’s life got messed up because of a break up.

3. Regret

Then there are those should-haves and could-haves. I thought about my ex at times because I felt like the relationship could have gone further had I done this or that. And, of course, there were also things that I realized were important enough to save what we had but none of us did anyway.

4. You want the ex back.

Last but not least, I realized after a bad break up that I was thinking about my ex because I wanted him back. Most people may have felt this way as well and the thing is, it got really harder everyday. I, myself have gone through pits of agony because even if I knew that the relationship wouldn’t work out anyway, I still felt like I wanted my ex back.

So I recalled some of the things I did that helped me move on.

1. Acceptance

Some people say that thinking about past relationships or past lovers is like pining for the old love. So the first step to moving on is to accept what happened. Letting go of the ex means we should let the separation sink into our minds. There will be no use thinking of, “If only I was…”, “If only my ex was…”, etc. In other words, get rid of the regrets.

2. Reach out to people who are still in your life

Although at some point, your ex became your life, don’t forget that you still have your own family and your friends who are still there to support you and love you. It will also be selfish to think about who you have lost when you still have a lot of people waiting to be loved by you. Going out with friends and setting time for your family will eventually help you forget about the ex.

3. Focus on Self Improvement

When I had that break up, I was depressed. While I was thinking about my ex, I was on the other hand, forgetting all about my job and myself. The lesson here is that, even if that someone leaves you, you still have the responsibility to go on with your life. So instead of sulking and grieving, I learned to displace that energy on my work and on taking care of myself.

The Magic Attitude that Inspires Honesty in a Man

What if you could learn crucial information about a man before you start falling for him – so you don’t waste your time with the wrong guy? Follow these simple rules for letting a man know that it’s safe to open up and share – including the three words he needs to hear to feel he can tell you anything.
 
There’s a certain attitude that inspires a man to be completely up front and honest with you – a mindset that can actually help you qualify the right man and avoid Mr. Wrong as early in the dating process as possible – even before you meet in person for the first time.
 
And if you’re in a relationship, it can help you get to the bottom of what he’s thinking and feeling, so you can know why he’s withdrawing, if he’s open to taking things to the “next level,” or what’s holding him back from fully committing to you…
 
HOW YOU ASK IS EVERYTHING
 
It’s not that a man is afraid of certain questions. It’s just that the WAY a woman asks those questions can make him feel defensive.  If a woman warns, “You’re not seeing anyone else right now, are you?” It almost automatically invites dishonesty in a man –  he’ll feel cornered and pressured.
 
In order to make him feel he is “safe” when he shares with you, you have to have what I call the “Anything is OK” attitude.
 
Now, this doesn’t mean that anything is OK for a man to do, and that you’re supposed to accept anything he does and have no boundaries or limitations.  The attitude is more like you thinking, “Anything is OK for you to share with me, but I know what I will and will not tolerate in my life, and what I want. But you can tell me anything. I can handle it.”
 
How do you communicate this attitude?  Easy.
 
THREE LITTLE WORDS THAT MAKE HIM OPEN UP
 
Ok, I won’t kill you with suspense anymore.  Here’s the magic phrase that will make a man feel safe enough to be honest with you: “I’m just curious.”
 
It can go like this.
 
“Are you seeing anyone right now? I’m just curious.”
 
“What kind of relationship are you looking for? I’m just curious.”
 
“What kind of woman do you most admire? I’m just curious.”
 
“Where do you see yourself in the next five years? I’m just curious.”
 
Using these three words not only lets a man know that you’ll be OK with whatever he tells you, but it also instantly conveys that you’re not needy or too aggressive, and that he can feel safe telling you just about anything.
 
CREATING CONNECTION AND ATTRACTION
 
If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, you must have the “Anything is OK” attitude and use those 3 magic words to get the most honest response possible.  That way, you won’t waste a lot of time going on dates with “unavailable” men, men who have skeletons in their closet, aren’t over their ex, or are actually interested in a different kind of relationship than you are.
 
And here’s a nice bonus: with this magic attitude, you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more than he would ever reveal on his own, without prompting.  As a result, he’ll feel more attracted to you because he’ll feel more understood and appreciated by you.  This is why I call this attitude “magic.” It not only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him feel more connected to you at the same time.

The ‘Do you Like Me?’ Problem

There isn’t a surefire way to tell if someone definitely likes you, unless you come right out and ask the person, but there are signals to look out for to find out if you’re liked more than just a friend. Your potential partner’s body language, actions and words can give you insight into the feared—do you like me problem.

After you’ve looked for the signals, if you don’t get the answer you were hoping for, move on. There are plenty of other eligible singles out there just waiting for a great catch like you.

Are you a Priority?

Even the busiest eligible will find time for a date if he or she likes you. Suddenly, schedules become open or priorities change when you like someone. Even the most overworked and overcommitted person can find time for a coffee in the morning or a quick lunch date.

If you’re only seeing the other person when it’s convenient for him or her and there are no compromises when it comes to making time for the relationship, it’s time to move on because there are a lot of other people out there just waiting to like you. “After a date, how quickly does the person follow up and say I want to see you again,” says author and Internet dating expert Evan Marc Katz. “The world’s greatest date followed by two weeks of silence, what good is that.”

Do you Have Meaningful Conversation?

If your potential partner is engaging in conversation with you and keeps the talk flowing once it has started, there is good reason to believe you are liked as more than just a friend. However, use common sense, if you’re having a great conversation with your colleague or someone who is getting paid to talk to you, like a waiter or your therapist, don’t jump to the wrong conclusion.

Does the Person’s Body Language Give the Right Clues?

A good rule to remember is that if your date is showing positive body language clues such as touching your arm during conversation, making eye contact, constantly smiling and leaning his or her body into you, it’s a good sign. If your potential partner is comfortable with you in his or her personal space, such as, letting you sit close on the couch to watch television together or allowing you to hold hands or put your arm around the person, chances are you’re liked and there’s a connection.

Are you Being Treated Differently?

A solid sign he or she likes you is if you’re brought up when the other person talks about the future. It shows the person is looking forward to being with you and having a long-term relationship. If your possible mate is booking vacations with you months out, inviting you to be his or her date at a family or friends wedding or if you’ve spent time with the other person’s family during big-ticket dates like the holidays or a birthday, it shows you’re seen as more than just a friend.

5 Friends Every Woman Needs

Whether you look to them for a shoulder to lean on, a partner in crime, a vault to hold your secrets or a pal who allows you to let loose, your friends are allies in a world that can sometimes seem very unkind. They see you through the laughter and the tears, and they are as important to your health and well-being as your family is. Here are five kinds of friends every woman should be grateful to have in her life.

1. Ms. Blunt

So her bedside manner leaves something to be desired, but you can’t beat a friend who will be completely honest with you. You cringe when she tells you that you have a piece of lettuce between your teeth, but you have to appreciate her when you realize she’s the only person in the room who is willing to do so.

Sometimes it’s hard to take her observations (such as That dress is less than flattering), but you have to chuckle at her deadpan sense of humor and black-and-white perception of the world. Ms. Blunt tells you what you should say to the jerk at the office, and she is more than happy to complain to the waiter when you get bad service. You admire her bravery and love her despite her (very) rough edges.

2. The Mother Hen

You seek comfort in the fact that the Mother Hen always knows what to do. She is the friend who hands you tissues after a bad breakup and brings you groceries when you’re laid up with the flu. She’s strong. She’s wise. Her presence is comforting.

Since coddling is her forte, she can come off as meddlesome or, well, too motherly. You know that she knows what’s best for you, even though sometimes you do the opposite. The key to maintaining a healthy relationship with the Mother Hen is not letting her practicality and togetherness interfere with your self-esteem. And make sure you offer to take care of her once in awhile too.

3. Miss Inspiration

This up-lifter does more than offer words of encouragement. As an eternal optimist, she supports your move to Brazil if that is what makes you happy. She reminds you of others’ innate good intentions and always finds a way to make lemonade – making sure to pour you some. Most of us keep positive people around to get through the times of self-doubt, and Miss Inspiration has a knack for raising the half-full glass to you.

The downfall to this happy camper is that every day cannot be sunshine and rainbows. Her buoyant cheerfulness can easily annoy if you are not at the stage to accept a frown turned upside down. You have the ability to inadvertently hurt her with your negativity, so be careful. Go to her when you have already processed any painful parts, are embracing the next phase of acceptance and need a dose of sunshine to help you through.

4. The Boy Friend (not to be confused with The Boyfriend)

Not all of the great friends are women. Safe from romantic advances, a sincere and platonic friendship with a guy can be just as valuable as a relationship with a female counterpart. We all need advice from a male perspective, and he is your source – your window into the male psyche.

Remember, men tend to think very differently than women do. Rather than offer a lengthy, thoughtful analysis as to why your last relationship didn’t work out, Mr. Tell-It-Like-It-Is will tell you without blinking that he thought your last boyfriend was a chump. He’ll tell you to move on, get over it and get out there.

5. The Wild Child

She is your female wingman who is up for anything. She is available for a crazy impromptu weekend in Vegas, a double blind date or a spontaneous joy ride around the city in a Lamborghini. You can tell her about your fantasies of running away from everyday responsibilities to a commune in the Amazon jungle, or about how you secretly substituted your famous Christmas cookies with store-bought dough last year.

This nonconformist will listen and laugh without shock or judgment. She challenges you to abandon your rule-following nature and adopt her liberating and adventurous style, even if it’s just for one night. However, as a natural free spirit, she probably doesn’t have much use for timeliness or responsibility, so leaning on the Wild Child for anything more than a good time may prove futile.