Big Boss Marlboro

Monday, April 1, 2013

The Sweet Success of Smell

It’s up there with sense of humor and confidence, guys: women love how a man smells. These three things actually matter way more than what you look like, how much you make and the car you drive. But it’s a highly subjective matter. Your best smell isn’t another man’s best smell, and not all women respond to the same scent. Still, it pays to make every effort to smell your best. In parts of Europe, a man’s cologne is considered as much a part of his wardrobe as his jacket or shoes, and we Americans need to follow that lead. Try these five tips.

Women want men who smell like men, not flower shops.

1. Ditch the cheap body spray
For most of you, college is over. The body spray that carried you through countless keg parties over the course of four to seven years isn’t going to cut it in the big leagues. When it comes down to it, smelling like The Situation only works for… The Situation. Instead, opt for an actual bottle of cologne, like your dad used to wear, and…

2. Use scents sparingly
You know who should smell your scent? People standing right next to you. Not people on the other end of the hallway. Your cologne is more for you and women you’re being intimate with than for everyone you walk by. It takes a little practice to get the right amount of scent on yourself, but for best results, just spray it lightly over your heart in the morning and you should be good to go.

3. Pick manly onesThey can be anything from sandalwood to lime, depending on the season, the occasion, your personality and other factors. But, with apologies to fellows who prefer such things, I’m going to strongly warn against scents like vanilla, lavender and gardenia. Instead go for things that mimic wood and leather or a simple musk. Women want men who smell like men, not flower shops.

There’s no substitute for confidence, grooming and a neckful of Olympic medals.

4. As Old Spice says, believe in yoursmellf
If you’re an old-school kind of guy, don’t be afraid of English Leather. If you’re a bit metro, embrace it and throw down an extra few bucks for the pricy European stuff. If you’re a Jersey Shore type of guy, don’t feel like you have to throw out all your Drakkar Noir. The point is that you want to smell like you, not what you think a woman wants you to smell like. You will reek of phony, which smells even worse than Khlomar’s fragrance.

5. Take care of your undercarriage
You may have never thought about it, but you’ve got to maintain your junk as well. Think that’s, ahem, nuts? Consider your own willingness to pleasure a lady when she’s not so well taken care of. Now, you don’t want to be applying CK One to your naughty bits. Instead, invest in some talcum powder specifically designed for the crotchal area. This will have your man-parts smelling sweet in the event she wants to unleash the beast. Did we incorporate enough euphemisms there?

How to Win Over Her Friends

When you have a serious girlfriend, sadly, it’s not just about the two of you. I hate to paraphrase the Spice Girls, but if you wanna be her lover, you’ve gotta get with her friends. (And not in the sexytime way.) Fortunately, I’m here to help you (almost) charm the pants off those ladies. Just follow these six tips.

If your girl brings you out to introduce you to the gals, don’t be too eager to please. Aim for laid-back and sociable, and let them be the stars of the show.

1. Be supportive
The best way to get on her girlfriends’ hate list is to be the guy who monopolizes her time. Instead, encourage her friendships. Giving her time with her girls not only shows that you aren’t possessive, it also lets you hang with your buddies. I get that at the beginning all you want to do is hang on her every word and sit around naked in the living room, but if you’re in it for the long haul, you don’t need to be together all the time. She’ll be there and so will you. Oh, and this should go without saying: don’t ever make her choose between you and her friends. Because even when you win, you really lose.

2. Hang back
If your girl brings you out to introduce you to the gals, you don’t want to be too eager to please. Aim for laid-back and sociable, and let them be the stars of the show. More Jason Segel, less Dane Cook. You don’t want to appear aloof or like a wallflower, but you don’t need to become best buds with them right away; you just need them to approve of you. You’ll be amazed that the less you say, the more likely this is to happen.

3. Show interest
While you don’t want to monopolize the conversation, you do want to engage her friends on a personal level. So ask them questions and listen to their answers. Pay attention to what they have to say rather than just waiting for your turn to talk. Want to really make an impression? Ask follow-ups on what you talked about the next time you see them. And if your girl is meeting up with one of them, a simple “give Peg my best” will go a long way.

You stay classy, guy reading this story.

4. Play it straight
There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but whatever you do, don’t be phony. Women can smell fake a mile away. If one of the girls has a problem with you, confront her directly in a friendly manner and try to resolve it. You’ve got a better chance of patching things up that way than if you pussyfoot around.

5. Hook ’em up
Just about every guy gets some kind of cool perk through his work. Whether it’s a discount, free movie passes or 20 bags of M&Ms, pay it forward and her friends will love you. Giving them small gifts will butter them up without making your girlfriend jealous, especially if the implication is that the gift is for her and a date. Trust me, she’ll remember you fondly.

6. Re-lax
You might have had bad experiences in the past with girlfriends’ friends. This has made you extra cautious about winning their support in the future. But don’t sweat it too much. Your girlfriend and her friends have a lot in common. This means that if she likes you, they will too. Which reminds me, want to know the best way to win over your girlfriend’s friends? Treat her right. That’s all they really want for her anyway.

Lies! 5 Myths About Casual Sex

“Casual sex” has become a bit of a dirty phrase in our culture. Rather than just call it what it is, people use euphemisms like “hooking up” or, even worse, “hanging out.” Somehow, sleeping with people you aren’t necessarily committed to gets a bad rap, as do those who indulge in it. But give us a moment to debunk the myths surrounding casual sex, and you might just see it as a far cooler option than you did before. Bonus: if you’re already on board, you’ll have some facts for any girl who presumes to judge—while secretly wanting to sleep with—you.

Myth #1: Casual Sex Spreads Disease
Casual sex doesn’t spread disease. Unprotected sex spreads disease. While there’s always a risk to sex, protected casual sex is undoubtedly a smarter option than unprotected committed sex. Truth is, until you get to really know a girl, you should wear a condom, whether you happen to be calling her your girlfriend or not.

In the 21st Century, enlightened human beings realize that women have sexual needs too. A woman who is open about her love of sex, and empowered by it, deserves respect, not a reputation.

Myth #2: Casual Sex Demeans Women
Says who? Probably people who still think there’s something wrong with women enjoying sex with multiple guys. That attitude went out with Elvis, or should have. In the 21st Century, enlightened human beings realize that women have sexual needs too. A woman who is open about her love of sex, and empowered by it, deserves respect, not a reputation.

Myth #3: Sex Between Committed People Is Better
Sometimes. Maybe. But not always. For those not paying attention to popular culture, there’s an entire cottage industry of comedy built around the idea that married people have terrible sex, when they have sex at all. And this myth draws largely from the next myth…

Myth #4: Casual Sex Is Emotionless
Hardly. “Casual sex” and “having sex with a string of partners whose names you don’t even know” are not the same thing. You can have casual sex with one of your best friends, or someone you really enjoy spending time with. The point is that you aren’t committed to or exclusive with one another. You are free to pursue other people without having to explain or excuse yourself (or lie about it to spare feelings). The sex can still have a lot of emotion to it, as can your relationship (small “r”) with the person. Further, this myth assumes that committed people are having emotion-filled sex. Which is not always the case. (See Myth #3.)

“Baby, I am totally committed… to sleeping with you right now.”

Myth #5: Casual Sex Is “Wrong”
Casual sex can be “wrong,” especially in cases where it’s self-centered, abusive, compulsive or fueled by substance abuse. But if it’s healthy, consensual and mutually beneficial, what, exactly, is wrong with it? With a willing and able partner, it can be fun, exciting and oh so right…

How To Measure Her Finger Without Getting Caught

Picking out an engagement ring is tricky business. Apart from learning about diamonds and jewel settings, you need to know about ring sizes. Sadly, rings are not made of elastic, “one-size fits all” material. That means you’ll need to exercise some care when it comes to picking out a correctly sized ring for your lady love. After all, when you propose to her, you don’t want to slip the ring on her finger only to have it slip right off. Or, worse yet, not be able to put it on her finger at all, and instead turn your engagement ring into a really expensive pinky ring. Embarrassing, right? Not to mention the fact that you’ll have to pay to have the ring resized, adding more cost to an already costly item.

Throwing out a wild guess about your girl’s ring size isn’t going to do you any favors. Of course, you can’t just ask your long-time companion what size ring she wears, because she’ll get suspicious. Women are clever like that, and your well-planned engagement surprise will be dead in the water thanks to your clumsy queries. But don’t despair; there are ways to surreptitiously deduce how big a ring to buy. You may have to be a little tricky when figuring out how to measure her finger without getting caught, maybe even a little devious, but the end will definitely justify the means!

Ask Her Best Friend. It doesn’t have to be a friend necessarily, just a close woman in her life. Ladies, in the course of talking about their dream weddings, will have no doubt discussed wedding rings. There’s definitely a chance that her ring size information has entered the conversation, so trying to get this valuable intelligence from one of these women may be the best way to go. The other methods are probably safer bets, but if you’re not able to pull off any of those tricks, this might be your only option to learn the size of her ring finger without getting caught. But be forewarned: when you share your plans to buy her a ring, you run the risk of it getting back to your girlfriend. If at all possible, keep all of this to yourself, and make this a one-man operation.

“While she’s sleeping, wrap a piece of string around her finger and mark the size. Any jeweler will be able to translate this into her ring size.”
- Chris Easter, editor-in-chief of GroomsAdvice.com and author of “Be The Man”

Take Her Shopping For Someone Else. If there’s a birthday coming up for a lady in your life, be it a mother, sister, or anyone else, take your girlfriend out shopping with you. Tell her that you’re thinking about getting them a nice ring, and you need her opinion. But be coy, because remember: women are smart creatures. Don’t lay it on too thick, and don’t press your luck. Just casually stop by the jewelry store and ask to see a few rings. Let her offer to model the ring for your so you can get an idea how it would look on a woman’s hand, and you’re golden.

Buy Her A Fashion Ring. Sometimes called a “right hand ring,” these little trinkets have a two-fold function. One, buying your girlfriend some jewelry is pretty much always going to net you some positive results. And two, you’re trying to measure her finger without getting caught. This doesn’t have to be an expensive ring, and in fact it shouldn’t be, because if you guess the wrong size, it won’t sting as much to have the ring re-sized or returned. Just pay close attention to what size ring you bought, and pay closer attention to how well it fits. Ask her if it ever feels loose, or if she has trouble taking it off. Also, you’ll need to consider what hand your girl favors. If she’s right handed, there’s a good chance that her left hand is going to be slightly smaller. Maybe just a half size, or maybe even a full size, but there’s probably going to be a difference. Of course, the reverse is true if she’s a lefty, so you may want to go up a bit in size from the ring you bought.

Snoop Through Her Stuff. This one is a little deceptive. In fact, if you guys don’t live together, this could be more than a little deceptive. But hey, you’re a man on a mission, right? Don’t let a little dishonesty prevent you from measuring her finger. If you’ve seen her wear a particular ring, or several rings, try to get a hold of one of them. Take it from her jewelry box or whatever she uses to keep these things safe, and take it to a jewelry store. The sales people there will be more than happy to tell you what size ring it is, especially if they think you’re going to buy a ring from them. Just return the other ring without letting her know it was taken and no one will be the wiser, you sly devil.

-Stu Moody

10 Dating Tips from Chick Flicks

At some point or another you’ve dated a woman who twisted your arm to watch some rom-com that made you want to poke your eyes out with toothpicks. Most likely, you spent the night thinking about your fantasy baseball league while staring at Katherine Heigl’s cleavage instead of picking up a few lessons on how to treat women.

Well, I can’t say that I blame you much. So, I jumped on the grenade, spent a weekend locked up with the worst of the worst and emerged with these 10 dating tips from chick flicks (and lotsa photos from one of the all-timers, The Notebook). Now you can spend your weekend watching Jason Statham blow things up instead of watching Rachel McAdams cry.

1. Chivalry ain’t dead
Despite what they told you at the latest pickup-artist seminar, women love being treated with old-fashioned respect. Sure, they want to be able to work outside the home and vote. That doesn’t mean they actually want to be treated like a man. They want you to open doors for them, pull out their chair and even pass their order along to a waiter at the restaurant. Don’t be afraid to court in the manner of your grandfather.

2. Fortune favors the bold
You know the movie you saw about the dude who fell in love with a chick who didn’t like him until he basically stalked her? Well, listen, pal: Don’t do anything that will get you a restraining order, but dare to be different. Make gestures that will have you standing out from the pack. If she’s not immediately swept off her feet, keep at it. A lot of times a woman won’t give you an outright “no.” It’s because she kind of likes the attention, and her heart might just be melting. Just ask Grant Cardone.

Persistence pays. Particularly if you are Ryan Gosling.

3. Leave something to the imagination
You know what’s sexy? Mystery and suspense. You know the tingly feeling you get when things are just about to get sexy but no one has taken the plunge yet? Pretty rad, right? She thinks so, too. Don’t throw all your cards on the table at once. Let her pull them out a bit. Then, when you’re standing on the precipice of intimacy, don’t be afraid to drag it out a little. Forward motion is important, but go ahead and slow things down a little bit. She’ll thank you for it, sexually speaking.

4. Get in touch with her feminine side
There’s no question about it: femininity is hot and sexy. She puts time into making herself look good, and you need to appreciate it. Try to take notice of things like when she gets her hair or nails done. And of course, make sure you pay extra attention to her lady regions after she grooms them. Use every action possible to acknowledge her beauty. It will only have her trying harder to look hot for you.

What, you don’t have an old-timey bathtub in your backyard? Get one!

5. Get in touch with her inner woman
Get your mind out of the gutter. What I mean is, learn as much as you can about female psychology in general, as well as her female psychology in particular. It’s going to give you a leg up in the relationship, help you to avoid the nightmares of past relationships and allow a greater degree of emotional intimacy between the two of you.

6. You can’t love others until you love yourself
Start training yourself in the ways of self-love, and I don’t mean the kind you spent most of high school engaging in. Appreciate yourself, almost to the level of narcissism. Nothing is more attractive than a man who is confident as hell.

Rowboats. Chick dig rowboats.

7. Get comfortable
You know all those scenes in chick flicks where the guy is feeding her pizza and what not? That’s comfort. One way that you get a new dog to build trust with you is to hand feed it. Women aren’t dogs and there are other ways to establish this kind of comfort (like, you know, listening), but the basic principle remains. You want women to feel comfortable around you. That’s a lady killer that no amount of money can buy. You can learn a lot more about creating comfort here.

8. Play kino
At the Art of Charm, we talk a lot about “kinesthetic touch.” You know what that means? Body contact. You want to start getting it in as early as you can. A simple hand on the shoulder can break down barriers. You’ve shown her that physical touch between the two of you is OK. Trust me, you’ll be amazed at how quickly something like an arm around a woman’s waist can have her all over you.

This whole lift and embrace move is apparently unbeatable.

9. Adventure is hot
You know what women love? A guy who wants to come by in the middle of the night and take them to the beach on a day that didn’t go so great. Women like adventure and excitement. You don’t have to be Indiana Jones to bring excitement into her life. You just have to be thoughtful and spontaneous.

10. Push the envelope
Whether it’s sexually or otherwise, don’t be afraid to cross a few lines. You’re the man. You’re supposed to be the aggressor, the initiator, the one pushing things forward. Don’t worry, tiger. She’ll let you know when your stock car is running in the red. Until then, don’t sweat it and as we’ve said before, ask for forgiveness, not permission.

Gotta admit, she’s worth it, right?

How to Close the Deal with a Woman

“Coffee is for closers only.”

When you’re working your magic on a lady, one of the trickiest parts is taking things to the next level. Let’s be honest: you want more than just another date. You want a night of hot, animalistic sex that you’ll both remember for years to come. Or at least some very heavy petting. But how do you make the jump? Women have years of experience dealing with skeevy bros they’ve met at the bar. What’s more, few things send them running for the hills faster than a guy who makes them feel like a slutty foregone conclusion. So here are five tips that separate the men closing the deal from the men curling up in their Tim Tebow jerseys alone. (Oh, and if you don’t recognize that quote, it’ll all make sense at the end.)

1. Make Her Feel Safe

a couple wearing gas masks kiss under mistletoe

“I know you wanted to use protection, but isn’t this going a little far?”

Women of our generation aren’t going anywhere with a guy who doesn’t make them feel secure. Throughout the night you have to come across as interesting and exciting, yes, but also safe. This means that even when you’re joking around, you need to be respectful at all times. Not only should you not do anything sketchy, you shouldn’t even do anything she might perceive as sketchy, like asking her to meet at your apartment the first time you get together, or pushing alcohol on her.

On the flip side, call out anything that may seem sketchy. If you have to use the bathroom when you drop her off, say something like: “Hey, I’d love to use your bathroom because I kinda need to, but I also understand if you’re not comfortable with that.” When you call it out, it takes the potential awkwardness away and shows you appreciate her safety concerns. Remember, perception equals reality when it comes to her feelings and assessments of you.

2. Keep Things (Relatively) Sober

two vintage bikini babes dance in a giant champagne glass

Sure it looks tasty now, but do you know where their feet have been?

One way to ensure that you don’t seal the deal is by getting her so drunk she can barely remember her name. Remember what we said about being sketchy? That’s pretty much the definition right there. If you have to get girls trashed for them to be interested in you, your game is obviously weak sauce and you need to step it up.

Being at a nice, cruising level of inebriation will have you both loosened up enough to enjoy yourselves but not commit acts of debauchery that you’ll regret in the morning. If you have to get her that cocked to get her home, you aren’t really sealing the deal. It’s a little more like shoplifting.

3. Show Interest

a vintage couple on a date, he kisses her arm, she remains coy

If that chick has an Eddie Munster fetish, he is so in.

You’d think this one should be a no-brainer, but it’s not. You can’t just expect her to come to you. You have to pursue her a bit. Women like knowing that you’re after them, willing to face a bit of rejection, and up to the challenge of showing some balls to make it happen.

Talk to her, break the conversation, go do something else and come back to her and resume flirting like a champ, while raising the physical and emotional stakes (see tip #5 below). The playing-hard-to-get thing works for women. On a man it makes you look a bit like, well, a woman.

4. Use the Soft Sell

a vintage couple sits across from each other at a table, drinking and smoking

“Oh, dear, this is so much more fun than dying of lung cancer in 20 years.”

The soft sell is an essential part of your closing game. She should know that you want her to “come over for a drink,” but she shouldn’t feel pressured to do so. Women are often up for more than they appear to be, but you need to create perfect mix of comfort and attraction for them to lower their defenses.

For example, if you’re say something racy and she says, “Just so you know, I don’t hook up on the first date,” come back with, “Neither do I, so no worries.” Both these statements are most likely lies, but taking the idea of sex (which may be making her uneasy) off the table leaves you looking cool and not desperate while also letting her relax a bit. It can be a tricky balance, but it’ll make the path much smoother later in the night.

Note: Another thing that smoothens the path is proper logistics. Arrange a date that’s near your place. That way, you can ask her to come over for a drink after you’ve spent a couple hours together. If she accepts, you’re money. If she declines, respect it. It doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you, it just means she’s not ready to hook up with you just yet.

5. Always Be Closing

a vintage couple kisses passionately on a couch

Is it us, or do they have almost the exact same haircut?

While the soft sell establishes comfort, you also need attraction, and one of the best training videos for how to close any deal is the below clip from Glengarry Glen Ross. In this iconic scene, Alec Baldwin tells salesmen how to sell: Attention Interest Decision Action. Get her attention by whatever reasonable means necessary. Build her interest with your charming personality and epic wit. Persuade her to make a decision to keep hanging with you. Prompt her to take the action of coming to your place. It’s not just a useful tip, it’s a way of life.

Another tip from the same scene is ABC. Always Be Closing. This means that you’re always in a “seal the deal” mode, escalating the interaction physically and emotionally. Physically, you’ll always want to be “punctuating the conversation you’re having with touch.” Touch her shoulder, arm, lower back, etc., but not for too long and make sure it’s in a natural way. This is key to sexual comfort. Think about it: you can’t have sex with someone without touching them.

Emotionally, you want to really be engaging with her, not just chatting. Allow her to talk about things that excite her and ignite her passion. When she’s on a roll, share her enthusiasm. (If you can’t, then you’re with the wrong girl.) From there it’s an easy transition to making plans to do something you’re both interested in. What it comes down to is, closing takes place all the time, not just after the bar rings the last-call bell. Keep that in mind, and you’ll find things go your way a lot more often.

Tips For Asking Her Father’s Permission

So you found the girl of dreams. You professed your love early on then dedicated the next couple of years (or months/weeks/days depending on your circumstance) courting her, building your relationship and, eventually, winning the affection of her family and friends. Heck, during that time you may have even managed to save up enough money to buy her a ring! If so, then the prospect of marriage is clearly on your mind. But until you muster up the courage to ask her father’s permission, you’ll have to put those proposal plans on hold.

Remember, it doesn’t matter how mean, unfriendly and intimidating you think her father may be. If you want to marry his little girl, the man deserves the proper respect of being asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

With that being said, there’s no need to stress yourself out about this part of the process. Trust me, there will be plenty of other opportunities to stress out before your wedding day. Instead, follow these five simple tips and you’ll find yourself in her father’s good graces and on the road to holy matrimony!

Do it in person. We live in an era where e-mails, text messages, Skype, Facebook and Twitter are fast becoming the preferred method of communication for many people—but probably not your future father-in-law. So when it comes to having the marriage conversation, you’ll want to make every effort to do so in person. Remember, a face-to-face meeting goes a long way in conveying a certain level of respect. It also shows her father that you are taking this proposal seriously. But most importantly it shows just how much you value having her entire family’s love, support and approval.

“Although tradition suggests that you only need to ask your girlfriend‘s father for permission to marry her, don’t forget to ask her mother as well. After all, she also helped raise her daughter to become the amazing woman she is today.”
- Chris Easter, editor-in-chief of GroomsAdvice.com and author of “Be The Man”

Don’t rush it. Just because you have a busy work schedule doesn’t mean you can rush through this part of the process. This conversation isn’t going to be your typical family banter, so block out some time (especially if you have to try and do some convincing). Just know it’s not going to be as simple as saying, “Hey, I’d like to marry your daughter.” So get comfortable, you could be there for a while.

Think about what you want to say. This will be one of the most important conversations of your life. With that being said, you’ll want to make sure you go into it as confident and prepared as possible. Sometimes it’s hard for guys to express their feelings, especially to another man. But it will be even harder if you don’t think before you speak. In the days leading up to your big sit down make a short list of the key points you want to express, and spend some time finding the right words to do so. You don’t want your words to sound insincere or rehearsed (always avoid the use of note cards). But you also don’t want to be stumbling over every sentence. Taking the time to compose your thoughts and align them with your feelings will go a long way toward making her father see you as the great husband you have the potential to be.

Show some respect. Above all else, it’s very important that you maintain a certain level of respect throughout the conversation—even if things don’t go as smoothly as planned. You might not get the answer you’re looking for right away. And there’s always a chance things could deteriorate into an argument. But if you lose your cool, or do anything else that could be taken as a sign of disrespect, there wont be any turning back.

Be yourself. Going over what you want to say ahead of time is one thing. Coming up with a phony line about how rich and successful you are, or how you and your future father-in-law share a love of stamp collecting is quite another. While you definitely want to make a good impression, there’s no need to try and overly impress anyone. Presenting yourself as something you’re not will only cause more harm than good. Simply put, if the words coming out of your mouth aren’t reflective of who you are as a person, don’t use them. After all, your future fiancée loves you for a reason. Stay true to who you are, and her parents will love you too—even if it takes some time.

— J. Morgan

Remember Any Name, Including Hers

Make no mistake about it, friends: you lose points when you can’t recall a name. Whether it’s a girl or a potential business partner you’re trying to woo, remembering names shows respect and regard. On the flip side, failure to do so makes you look like an amateur—and is a surefire game-killer with the ladies. But never fear, here are a few tricks to plant names firmly in your memory banks, plus what to do in the rare event an identity slips your mind. Read on, turn into a human Rolodex.

Pay AttentionPerhaps the most obvious advice we can give you is to really check in mentally when people say their names. “My name is _____, what’s yours?” is a conversational formality like “How are you?” However, when you ask “What’s yours?” you actually need to take note of the answer. Listen closely and you’ll get out of the gate on the right note.

Ask the person to spell out the name, if there are alternate spellings. Then repeating, “Staci with an ‘I’,” back at her will help it click. (But come on, man, how could you forget Staci?)

Repeat, Repeat and Repeat AgainOnce you have the person’s name, look at them and repeat it to yourself three times. Use it as often as possible during the first few minutes of your conversation. Even something like, “Julie, nice to meet you,” will help to burn the name into your head. Ask the person to spell out the name, if there are alternate spellings. Then repeating, “Staci with an ‘I’,” back at her will help it click. (But come on, man, how could you forget Staci?)

Use Mental TricksWhen repeating a name to yourself, visualize it on the person’s forehead for a few seconds. Note an outstanding physical feature or piece of a person’s outfit. For example, if a guy named Jermaine is wearing a strange jacket, think to yourself “Jacket Jermaine.” Later, if you forget, looking at his jacket will trigger your memory. Mental images help, too. A person named “Michael Forrester” can easily be remembered by picturing your new best friend in the middle of the woods. (For more on mental tricks, check out 4 Memory Tips You Will Never Forget.)

Be HonestIf you do forget a name, the worst thing you can do is not own up to it. Using the wrong name, or admitting hours later that you’ve forgotten, just looks bad. Instead, apologize for your faux pas and ask for the person’s name again—immediately. The longer you let the problem linger, the more offended the person will be. Everyone understands that names get forgotten, especially when you are being introduced to a large group of people. It might be a bit awkward, but it’s way less awkward than addressing Michael Forrester as Jermaine McGee.

“Hey, I’m Mahmoud. But my friends just call me Pure Evil.”

Bail Yourself OutIf you run into someone days, weeks or months after an initial meeting, his or her name may slip your mind. Three quick fixes:

1. Simply ask for the person’s name. When she answers with “Maria,” play it off with a laugh and say you remembered her first name, but it’s her last name you are stuck on.

2. Introduce yourself all over again. “Hey, I’m Jordan, we met at a bar a couple weeks ago,” will likely lead to a response like “Oh hey, I’m Kenja.”

3. Introduce a friend by name. “Have you met my friend Steve?” The other person should respond with “No, I haven’t. I’m Billy.” If he doesn’t, relax. He might just be too socially awkward to be worth hanging with, anyway. (Sorry, Billy.)

Danger! Dating “Advice” to Avoid

From your buddies to your mom to your best female friend, everyone and their dog thinks they have great dating advice for you. And some people actually do. But perhaps more important than getting quality advice is identifying bad advice—and rejecting it before you get slapped, dumped or worse. The following ideas, no matter how cleverly phrased, can only lead you down a dark path. If you want your love life to be more George Clooney, less Kris Humphries, turn a deaf ear.

1. “Catch Her Off Guard”
No. Don’t. She doesn’t want a challenge. Not yet. She wants pursuit. It’s true that “Do you come here often?” makes for a really crap-tastic pickup line. What’s not true is that you need some kind of exotic icebreaker to get her interested. Just ask something that engages her, like what she thinks the beer from that goose-shaped tap tastes like, or whether the bartender’s handlebar moustache is ironic or sincere. The harder you try to be “witty” or “edgy” the more you’re just going to come off as weird or a douche.

Playing on a woman’s irrational side is fine if you’re looking for wild sex with a psycho chick who’ll torch your car when things go south. For something a little more stable, you’ve got to honestly pursue both her heart and her mind.

2. “Give Her a Neg”
In pickup artist parlance, “negging” is using a backhanded compliment to put yourself on a higher plane than a woman so that she feels she has to win your approval. It’s probably the worst advice you’re ever going to get from a pickup artist, and that’s a pretty high bar to begin with. Telling some girl her nails are a mess or she’s wearing too much makeup isn’t a good way to get her to like you. The only ladies who fall for this move are the ones you don’t to want to get mixed up with in the first place.

3. “Women Are Emotional”
It’s not that women aren’t emotional. Everyone is emotional to some degree. However, banking on her lack of common sense while dating is not only sort of piggish, it’s also not going to get you any closer to being intimate with her. Much like negging, playing on a woman’s irrational side is fine if you’re looking for a night of wild sex with a psycho chick who’ll torch your car when things go south. If you’re looking for something a little more stable/less frightening, you’ve got to honestly pursue both her heart and her mind.

4. “Keep Her Distant”
You want her to respond to your rugged, mysterious self? Get real. This is yet another way to guarantee the only women you date are totally nuts and want you to be their abusive father. If you have some sort of fetish for waking up next to a dead bunny with all your possessions on the street, by all means, don’t share anything about yourself with her. You’ll be self-selecting for crazy with one of the best methods out there.

5. Anything a Woman Tells You
Listen, it’s not that women are dumb or incompetent or inept or anything like that. Many of them can offer you great advice on a number of subjects. You can even ask them for feedback on stuff that’s going on with a more long-term partner. However, getting dating advice from women has three decidedly significant drawbacks:

A. Most of the women who aren’t your mother are girls you’ve dated, girls you’ve slept with, or girls you have some sort of unresolved sexual or romantic tension with. In other words, they are not exactly impartial.

B. All girls are not the same, but most girls tend to think that all women think like they do.

C. Women (like everyone else), are great at explaining what they think they want, and absolutely terrible at pinpointing exactly what they respond to. Don’t believe me? Ask the girl who only dates jerks what she wants in a man, and you’ll likely hear some mumbo-jumbo about compliments and flowers. Case closed.

6. “Lie”
Not if you ever want to see her again, dude.

Dunzo! 5 Signs It’s Time to Break Up

Chances are you’ve known a fellow who stayed with a she-beast for years, even though, by all appearances, she was ruining his life. Or perhaps you’ve got a friend who gets along with his girlfriend just fine—they just act more like roommates than lovers. It seems obvious that these people should break up… to everyone but the guy himself. And maybe that “guy” is “you.” Why the blind spot? In the first place, it’s simply hard to leave a woman you love. People invest so much into relationships that it’s painful to just walk away. Plus, you can often be too close to the problem to actually see it. Whether you’re wondering or a friend is, here are five signs it’s over. Or should be, anyway.

No one should be in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling them sexually. In fact, a lack of a mutually fulfilling sex life often underpins other problems.

1. No future
You know that at least once you’ve been the guy thinking about what it would be like to be married to a woman you’ve known for all of three weeks. That’s not the time to start discussing future plans, but it can point to something telling on the flip side: when you stop thinking about the future, things between you and your girl are sterile at best. A quick test to know if she’s still on board? Ask her something about your future together. It can be as simple as what type of place you want to live in for your next apartment. If she’s not interested in the conversation, it’s time for a talk of a different type.

2. Crappy sex
You’re not being shallow for wanting a healthy, zesty sex life. You’re being a human being with needs. No one should be in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling them sexually. In fact, a lack of a mutually fulfilling sex life often underpins other problems. The question isn’t what’s “normal” for other couples, the question is, are you enjoying your sex life? If you don’t find it fulfilling, you don’t need someone else to tell you that it’s OK to be unfulfilled: you just need to eject.

3. Nasty fights
Bickering happens and so do really intense fights, but what shouldn’t happen (or at least shouldn’t happen very often) are arguments that turn into little more than one personal attack after another. When things really start getting nasty (insults about your mother or things she knows you’re particularly sensitive about) or the slightest dig has you wanting to go ballistic, you should consider throwing in the towel.

This kind of fighting isn’t a good sign. Then again, neither is wearing matching shirts.

4. Excessive passive-aggressiveness
If either one of you is being passive-aggressive, it’s generally a sign that things are too far gone to be fixed. Ditto on a constant sense of annoyance coming from either direction. You might love her, but that doesn’t mean you like her, and to make a relationship work, both partners have to both love and like the other one. When sniping and backbiting starts creeping into your everyday life, you’re probably nearing the end of the road.

5. No fun
When you first start dating a woman, you generally can’t make enough plans. When things start going south, you start looking for any excuse to not spend time with her. Or maybe it’s not that severe. Maybe you’re just not ever doing anything cool and fun together anymore. Either way, if you’re not spending quality time together doing things you both enjoy, your relationship is on the rocks.

It’s almost never easy to know if you want to end a relationship. You might see some of these things and decide you just want to work harder on things. Counseling has helped more than one couple get through a rough patch and into greener pastures. One thing to remember, though: you’ll meet a lot of guys fresh out of a bad relationship who wish that they had ended things sooner, and you’ll meet very few who wish they had toughed it out longer.